In this episode, we discuss all things comic oriented (or at least the stuff we care about). Deadpool, Punisher, Batman & Robin, War of Light, Green Lantern, Iron Man, and debate the stupidity of Knife-Guns. Also, 10 black super heroes are named. Who'd we miss?
So I thought I might write a review for this comic since y'know, that's sort of what we're supposed to do here, but instead I thought I would just tell you my case (it isn't good) and then, as if this were some sort of court case, give you evidence supporting it.
Verdict: Ultimatum is shock-gore horse-$#!% intended to make you THINK it's good because they're doing "CRAZY" things, when really, it's just superbly bad writing with people dying to make it look important.
EXHIBIT A:
Apparently, Ultimate Spider-Man is dead. Way to go, assholes. The only reason 90% of the readers pick up Ultimate titles is now Jeph Loeb-fodder.
EXHIBIT B:
BUNGHOLES?! Damn you, Loeb. Nick fury DOES NOT EQUAL Beavis and Butthead. It's the Ultimates, you wrote Ultimates 3 so "Edgy", why can't he just say assholes, or jerks, or ANYTHING BUT BUNGHOLES!?!?!?!?
EXHIBIT C:
Explaining why this is bad would be like showing you the a video of the victim (Comic Books) being stabbed by the defendant (Jeph Loeb) and then having to actually explain why that is bad.
EXHIBIT D:
He can't even write his own Evil Villain Dialogue. He has to borrow it from the Bible. Lazy and super F'd out.
EXHIBIT E:
Gore for the sake of gore. OMG THEY KILLED TEH DOKTOR STRANJJ!!!1
EXHIBIT F:
More gore for the sake of gore. So retarded. So so retarded. No fights, no characterization, it's like a kid playing with action figures. All that's needed is just the characters hitting each other and everyone's having the time of their life. This is so $#!%.
So there you go faithful readers. Make up your own minds. Is this not awful? Also, I love Finch as an artist, and this is some of the worst work I have ever seen him churn out.
In this episode, we discuss all things current in the realm of movies. Star Trek, Terminator, Thor, Deadpool, Wolverine, The Surrogates, Harry Potter, Transformers 2 and About Heroes Action News. Check out http://www.theworstthingintheworld.com/ for a preview of things to come.
Hello, fellow nerds. Are you guys aware that we are in a Nerd Renaissance? It's a beautiful thing. Depending on how old you are, either you or your parents used to be ridiculed for reading comics, but now we're in a society that has fully embraced the comic nerd. No longer do jocks feel a genetic prompting to kick sand in our face at the beach in front of our girlfriends. We don't have carte blanche to run around willy nilly to be as nerdy as we want, but we are in the zeitgeist. Comic books are being recognized as a legitimate art form. Every other film is based on a comic book, and film is the blue part of the red white and blue blood that flows through our culture's veins (the red is celebrity worship and the white is pornography, which is ironic, right?). It is a new dawn for the nerd, and we can rest assured when we lay our heads down at night, knowing that we don't have to hide anymore. We can all just let our freaky nerd flags fly, right?
Not exactly. While we are in the aforementioned Nerd Renaissance, it's hard to let your bowl-cut hair down, bust out the fanny pack and not get any odd glances or muffled giggles in a public setting. It's been a long nerdy road I've walked down, and I thought that, in all my inflated wisdom and sense of self-importance, I'd impart some of the knowledge and tactics I've amassed along the way to give you some tips on how to blend in a little bit while still maintaining that healthy nerd blood pressure and keeping your social awkwardness cholesterol down. Forgive the bad puns, but hunker down. There's more coming.
Today's Tip: I'm gonna start this pretty broad here. This is more a basic human principle of social interaction, but it strongly applies to us nerds because we're one of the most frequent offenders when it comes to breaking this rule. It is important, not just as a nerd, but as a human being, to realize that not everyone is into what you're into. You might think it's amazing that Tommy ended up being the White Ranger or the Sentry turned out to be a 'real' character after all, but I can assure you, in any average setting, at least 90% of the people around you have no idea what you're talking about, and if they did, they most likely won't care at all. Your inner nerd belongs in a box. Not the repressive, moving box or shoe box type of box (box box box...just had to work a few more of 'em into the sentence). I'm talking more about a hamster cage of sorts with fresh sawdust, a feeder, a wheel and plenty of air-holes where it can run and burrow to it's heart's content without running all over the place leaving unsightly poops for people to see and contemplate. Know your audience. The phrase doesn't exactly apply, unless you're frequently performing in one way or another for the people around you. I digress. What I really mean is know who you're talking to. Know who's around you. Are you with your friends? Are your friends nerds? Are you talking to the clerk at Blockbuster? A good rule of thumb here is to not talk about it unless it's initiated or hinted at. If they light up at the fact that you're renting Iron Man, then maybe throw out an exploratory question. "Do you read the comics?" or "I hope War Machine's in the sequel!" or "I'm totally gay for the Silver Centurion armor!" 
are all good examples of this. Use your judgment in proceeding from this point based on their response. Bottom line, discretion is key, if someone came up to you and started blabbing on and on about sports or wrestling (no, they are not the same thing) or their favorite soap opera, think about how much you wouldn't care and not want to have the conversation. Don't drop nerd bombs, friends. There are more efficient/tactful ways to let your nerd out for a stretch. If my all-knowingness hasn't put you off yet, then check back soon for tips on how to do that, and much more! Hooray!
-Joshiebear
A Dark Shot In The Sun
Entry #50, Jan 14th
By Cast-Iron Chris
www.grimlandstories.com
"Glenn, let's play a game," said Simon sitting at the end of the bar.
"Sure," said Glenn the Damsel Strip club's bartender as he cut a lime.
"Let's see how drunk I can get before I die."
"You mean over the course of your life or just today?"
"It's all the same to me, Glenn," said Simon as he took a pint glass and began to fill it with equal parts Jack Daniel's, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker Black, and Jameson. "Cheers, Glenn." Simon opened his throat and swallowed the drink in one gulp. When he sat the pint glass back on the bar something in the concoction hit his brain immediately. He felt a combination of mild euphoria and heartache.
Simon looked at Glenn to make sure he was still on Earth. Glenn was making a Bombay Sapphire martini. He walked over to Simon and stuck out the drink. Simon began to mumble the word "no" when a blurry hand reached out next to him and took the drink. Simon turned at the speed of light to see Lee "The Lotus Wolf" Fook.
Fook took a long sip of his drink and placed it back on the bar. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his heavy cloth Judo uniform.
"Hello, Simon."
"Hey, Lee."
Fook took another drink. Simon got Glenn's attention for another drink but was denied.
"The funeral was very nice, don't you think?" asked Lee.
"It was what it was, wasn't it?" said Simon his speech started to slur.
"Hold it together, friend."
"Did Kitten really kill herself?"
"What do you mean?"
"Either she really did overdose on drugs, or you killed her, Lee."
"I do not kill innocent people," replied Lee, slightly angered.
"Kitten wasn't innocent. She helped me frame Congressman Vasquez. She killed herself because she couldn't take the guilt...I just thought that if you did it than maybe some of the guilt would be lifted off of me."
"You did what was ordered of you by Mr. Gillingham. And besides, I heard you cleared Vasquez of the charges."
Simon rubbed his head aggressively, "I did that after I found Kitten dead! I finally pulled my head out of my ass and did something I believed in. It just so happened that what I believe in is morally right. Go figure. I just wanted to balance out the world. I wanted to do something right. You taught me that."
Lee smiled and took another sip. "I merely pointed you in the right direction. I am sorry Kitten died. We all deal with things in our own way."
Simon rubbed his head then his face. He pulled his skin down making it look like it was melting off and turned toward Lee. "Why are you here, Fook?"
"You know why I'm here," said Lee Fook, as he drained the remains of his Bombay Sapphire martini.
Simon stood up from the bar and stretched then stumbled. Lee was there to grab him so he wouldn't fall. Simon leaned on Lee as they headed into a private room. The strippers knew not to follow. After a few minutes past three gun shots rang out from the room. A few people screamed, a few more people pretended to scream, but everyone else pretended nothing happened.
Hey kiddies! It's me! That guy who sometimes throws up crass comics he didn't make about comic books and occasionally does a movie review or podcast! That's right, Joshiebear! I wanted to get on the site and let you know that we folks at AboutHeroes haven't forgotten about you and to thank you for your patience as we go through this transitional phase. To reward you for your patience, I thought I'd give you a peak at what we've been up to so you can know what to expect in the near future.
We've been developing a new live-action news show hosted by our very own Chris Heltzel that's set in the multiverse of comics to give a bit of a commentary on what's happening in comics while also just plain old keeping you, the readers, in the know. We've shot 2 episodes already and will be shooting a 3rd about 8 hours from when I'm typing this now. The set is totally green-screen, so all the extra stuff is fabricated by yours truly after all the other players have done their parts. I took some snapshots you can see below to get an idea of what the show's going to look like, at least for now.
We have a lot of really talented, amazing people working on this and I'm really excited to see how it grows and where it takes us. I sincerely hope that when we start releasing them, you will enjoy them as much as we enjoy making them. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, I'd be happy to answer them.
So as you may or may not have noticed the site was down for about a day or two.
Simply put, our web hosting company was having issues. We're back up today but, as you see we've traveled back in time to APRIL. Slowly but surely I am gonna try recreating the posts between then and now so bare with me.
This week the gang (Chris H, Joshiebear, Chris K and Kelvin) get Annihilated!
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation gets torn a new one, and in turn tears our hosts' brains apart, all for your listening pleasure! NOTE: 2 versions available, with and without movie audio. Please comment and let us know what you prefer so we have an idea of what to go with in the future.
This episode we talk with Ben and Justin, KY locals, about a comic project they're working on turning the normal way of comic publishing on it's head.
Link: http://www.blueprintsaintsmagazine.com/
Episode 124 - Just Let Us Make Our Magazine!
Editor's Note: Had to tweak the audio levels a bit to keep the volume down, just warnin ya.
The guys: Chris H, Josh P, Chris K, and Kelvin, catch up on comic talk and discuss shenanigans-laden personal experiences on porno sets. One the comics side of things we talk about Battle for the Cowl, Prelude to Blackest Night and all things Green Lantern, and a little Deadpool action in there too.
In this episode, we discuss all things comic oriented (or at least the stuff we care about). Deadpool, Punisher, Batman & Robin, War of Light, Green Lantern, Iron Man, and debate the stupidity of Knife-Guns. Also, 10 black super heroes are named. Who'd we miss?
West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 9
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