Transformers Preview!
Well, here’s what happened. After 2 hours of sleep, I dragged my ass out of bed, picked up my friend down the street, and found the line of people waiting and then stood there for a little over an hour, and they finally started letting people in. Turns out the part about the advanced screening was true. I am now officially on the list to be notified of the when and where (I was told it would be mid to late June) and then I got my actual ticket (Good for two, I’d invite one of the AH home-crew if you didn’t all live in Kentucky or on another continent), and then got in line to watch the exclusive content.
Here’s where it gets weird. They take 20 people at a time and bring them into a the back of a semi truck, keep them inside for about 5 minutes, and then let them go. The thing that concerned me is that everyone walking out of the truck looked really…..dull. What I’m trying to say here is that everyone had this look of “Welllll……alright then. I’m gonna go home now. Maybe take a shower.” This isn’t what I was hoping to see from the people who were leaving. I wanted to see excitement and wonder on their faces and this was falling short. Then it hit me. OH PLEASE GOD LET THIS NOT BE ANOTHER SPIDER-MAN 3. I COULDN’T TAKE IT!!!!!!! I immediately started breathing in the McDonald’s bag that had just been recently vacated of an egg-mcmuffin to control my hyperventilation, because even though I know nothing about Transformers and never was a ‘Fan’ (I never disliked transformers, I just never really got into them), but I’m still stoked for this movie. Freaking Giant Transforming Robots Fighting each other and killing stuff. It just HAS TO BE awesome. So I waited nervously and prayed I wouldn’t come out of there having had a huge red flag waved in my face. Ok, enough of the establishing of tension, let’s skip ahead shall we?
I finally entered the truck, and find that the inside of the trailer had been decorated to look like a mobile government ops unit with gear and computers here and there. Then the “Sector 7 Agents” came out and started hamming it up SOOOO HARRRD I practically sneezed bacon bits after I got out. They did the whole “We’re government agents and we’re here to tell you that all these sightings of “Transformers” are false and that aliens don’t exist and blah blah blah, we’re tools.” Suddenly, a video-message comes through of a similarly dressed man saying a bunch of “Sir, we’re getting reports of another attack…you should really see this!” And our agents yelling back at the blatant dvd “NO YOU FOOL!!! DON’T PATCH THAT THROUGH!!! WE HAVE CIVILLIANS PRESENT.” And being the dumbass that we love our government lackeys to be, he patches it through anyway. Here’s where the preview comes in. Before I tell you about the preview, lemme just finish the whole story of these “Sector 7” Douchebags. After the video ends, they all kinda look at us in a demeaning way and say “We want to thank you in advance for keeping this matter private and not discussing it with your family or friends. We know where you live. Just keep in mind, sometimes…..THERE”S MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE.” Upon this, we exit the truck, and I understand just why everyone had that look of disappointment on their face. That was a lot of unnecessary, awkward schtick we had to sit through just to watch what will probably be an online preview within a month, and I honestly just felt awkward being in the same room as these poor grown men who had to do this every 20 minutes just so that we can watch a video clip. It was pretty haggard. On top of this, i found that the toys were only being given out to the first 50 people, and i was literally like #54, and the big "Unveiling" was of the footage itself. I was hoping for an autobot. Oh wells, I suppose I got what I monetarily paid for. Ok, so how was the preview?
The preview was pretty cool. It takes place outside of Qurak (I think) apparently taking place a bit after an initial Decepticon attack on some military base. We pick up with about 7 soldiers (including Tyrese) walking along, when holy crap, this Scorpion Robot pops up from out of the sand and just starts tearing them apart. I’m gonna guess it was Scorponok (spelling? I dunno, I saw a few episodes of beast wars). Anyway, it was cool, there was a funny bit where one of the main characters (I don’t know his name) is trying to call the pentagon and has to deal with a Middle-Eastern man trying to sell him phone plans while he’s trying to not get killed by Scorponok (OR WHATEVER) and shooting guns and whatnot. Finally he gets through and air-support comes and suppresses the robot bitch and shoots the tip of it’s tail off and it finally retreats into the sand.
The special effects here are just amazing. It really looked like a giant robot scorpion was diving around like a dolphin in the sand shooting lasers at people through his pincers and such. There was no transforming, but the scene didn’t really call for it. There were actually a few shots where the special effects weren’t done yet and it really made you respect all the work people put into these things, because it showed how they literally concoct all this stuff from absolutely nothing. Well, that’s pretty much it for now, but in about a month, you can expect me to give you another advanced nerd-movie screening, and it looks like this one won’t be full of angst and emo-dancing!
Your Nerd in Hollywood,
-Joshiebear
