About Heroes

This review was submitted by Muuurgh:
Uncanny X-Men #2
Writer: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby

These old UXM books bring many of us to a time unknown, both in terms of decade according to time itself and in terms of the way that the X-Men act. Strongly apparent as it may be in UXM #1, it is even more so in this issue.

The foremost element in this book that is the most refreshing to read is the one of which that shows the X-Men being weak. At this point, people are just starting to learn who the X-Men are and are beginning to appreciate, rather than fear, them. Naturally, then, a gaggle of girls surround Angel and try to kiss him, and Jean pulls them off using her telekinesis. After only moving six girls off of Angel, Jean faints and Angel has to take her back to the mansion. In the very next scene, a wall starts to tumble down atop a group of construction workers and it takes Cyclops’ optic blast at “full power” to destroy the wall and save the workers. Furthermore, the villain of this issue, The Vanisher, defeats the X-Men in their first encounter.

The X-Men failing is an amazing thing to see. Nowadays it’s expected that they’ll win, regardless of whether or not they get tossed around at first or not. They’re expected to win, if not for their experience alone but for their radical powers and strong control of those powers (whether or not they’re experienced with the powers does not seem to be congruent with the control they have most of the time). Back when Stan was writing the book, though, the X-Men were weak and frequently faltered.

A funny thing about that is that the X-Men didn’t get killed after their encounter with The Vanisher. Villainous mutants must have not been as ferocious as they are today. Forget the stupid costume (thank you, Beast, for pointing out that he looks ridiculous… plus, were all the evil mutants back then dressed in the same color scheme? Damn), The Vanisher gassed Jean, dodged everyone else’s attacks, and was content with just taking the plans. Maybe it was their show of inexperience that lead The Vanisher to pin them as children, thus ultimately deciding not kill them. Regardless, he didn’t. Cool.

The X-Men as students is also fun to behold. They try to get to the mansion on time so that they won’t be tardy for a mission briefing and they use the Danger Room (not called that yet) for actual training of skills specific for the dangers that may come due to The Vanisher’s powers (I just remember people using the Danger Room for random training, like Wolverine using it to run simulations where he would go and kill Magneto)… Professor X even takes note on what they need to work on, and medically cares for Angel after he had a difficult time with his training. Plus, Iceman gets a demerit for speaking out of turn. The only problem with that is, I don’t know why Iceman gets a demerit for speaking loudly out of turn and then a page later when he speaks loudly out of turn and shoots ice the Prof. turns it into a training exercise.

The immaturity of the X-Men is shown with the end of the book. Professor X uses his own powers to defeat The Vanisher by making him forget his own self. Older X-Men would believe that to be an abuse of powers (note Nightcrawler scolding the Professor when he pries into Valerie Cooper’s thoughts in the latest UXM, which is a lot less threatening then erasing someone’s memory of their own self being). Speaking of, Professor X has a lot more versatility to his powers than I ever remember him having in the past. In this issue he projects images of The Vanisher on the wall for the team to see. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen.

Stan’s humorous writing is very classic and refreshing to read, especially when we get mostly adult-oriented humor thrown at us from everywhere today. The innocence of the X-Men, through Angel’s girl encounter and even more strongly through Iceman’s constant gags (i.e., shaking a shaved construction worker’s hand and turning his glove to ice in the process), is an example of this classic humor that we see from Stan’s writing. Also, I’m not sure if this meant to be a social commentary or not, but the utter idiocy of the police in the comic (shown by the leading of The Vanisher, who states his intent to rob the bank, to the bank so that he can start stealing the money first and then they can arrest him when the crime is taking place) is so ridiculous I was bewildered that it was even in there. But, it was pretty funny to see them bumbling around like they did. Also, to get back to the mansion in time to not make the Prof angry, Cyclops and Iceman hitch a ride in an ice-cream truck, and Iceman, of all people, eats a bunch of chocolate bars while stashed in the back, and the driver gets a little irate.

Another solid issue from The Man and Jack Kirby—I give it a B. Joey Q would give it an F for Professor X smoking a pipe in one of the panels. What a douche.

Favorite line:
Soldier: “Hold it, mister! Nobody goes through here without a permit!”
The Vanisher: “Permits are for homo sapiens, fool! Not for The Vanisher!”