AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!...in 1952?

For shits and giggles, lets imagine that an Avengers movies was already made...58 years ago....

Did you catch the little cameos from other Marvel heroes not mentioned in the role call?

West Coast About Hereos Episode 27: The Boys Are Back In Town

In this episode, we go nuts. We talk about Blackest Night and Brightest Day, we talk about nerd problems. We ask "If they tried to abort wolverine, would he just heal himself?", Josh reviews and discusses the Scott Pilgrim Movie. Avengers and Siege are discussed. Iron Man 2 is covered. We're all over the map. It's a good time. Also, emails!

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 27

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

Mortal Kombat: REBIRTH?? What is this?

So, this mysterious video poped up on YouTube recently.

As of now, no one knows where it came from or why it exsist.

Why not watch it first and we'll discuss after....

Pretty crazy right? A Mortal Kombat movie with NO magic in it.

Rumors have been running pretty high on what this thing is. Is it a fancy promo for a new game? Is it just another fan film but with some great production value and some big names? OR, is this a pitch to make into a new film?

My thoughs? The video itself looks great. The fight scene is awesome. It's fun seeing how they tie all the game elements and make a "real" world take, and the idea of making Scorpion the lead is intriguing to say the least.

But, is this the right way to do it? Can this work as a feature film before the we get tired of waiting for the next reimagined character or reference? If this is just a game promo, would fans of the game accept this new take?

What do you guys think?

Iron Baby: Now I want a kid.

Click To Watch.

Pretty sweet for a guy making a short! Also, to hell with guys in bunny suits. Never liked 'em.

West Coast About Heroes Episode 26: Meat Flavored Potatoes / Jonah Hex Review

In this episode, Josh P and Chris H read viewer mail, and review Jonah Hex (that's right, we saw it!). Review is spoiler free up until towards the end, but we give a spoiler warning, so don't fret, Hex fans, you can get in on the fun too. Just tune out when you hear the queue. Also: Kick-Ass is briefly discussed.

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Coast About Heroes - Episode 26

Here is Mr. CHISSUUUUUUUUM's link concerning Mark Strong and Sinestro: CLICKY

Aaaaaaand here's Mr. CHISSUUUUUUUUUM's rough rendition of the WCAH crew as Alice in Wonderland characters:

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

Joss Whedon to direct The Avengers movie

Variety has reported it "":http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118017689.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&ref=bd_film

For as long as the Avengers movie was announced, I racked my brain on who would be a good choice.

Jon Favreau made sense to me since he started this big wave of Marvel movies thanks to Iron Man, but he stated he has no interest in making The Avengers movie(instead he will be a producer on it).

Maybe Zack Snyder? His visuals are amazing and the action is guaranteed to be well shot and big in scope. Granted his character work is fine(at best) but it’s not his forte and for the Avengers film you need someone who can make this ensemble work and be fun to watch.

Maybe J.J. Abrams? He’s work on Star Trek was great, and the ensemble in that film was stupendous. He was able to balance both the action and the character while still making it exciting.

BUT both Snyder and Abrams are busy as fuck guys with no room to make an epic movie like The Avengers.

SO, enter Joss Whedon.
.

Lets look at his stats.

Dude’s an accomplished writer/director. His writing is what he’s known best for, but his directing is energetic and nicely stylized.

For at least FOUR different shows he’s handled large ensembles and gives each character personality, humor and enjoyable traits to make them distinct.

He knows his comics,and has written 25 issues of Astonishing X-Men (plus his run on The Runaways comic). His X-Men run was critically acclamed and a huge hit.

And most importantly…he’s HUNGRY.

Not in the sense that he’s poor assholes, no, he’s hungry to prove himself.

He has a huge following, but it’s a cult following and it’s not enough for someone who needs make more projects.

Right now, Hollywood thinks Whedon only works for a niche audience, much like Kevin Smith.

Whedon has been trying to get into the big leagues, to be someone in the industry that can make a blockbuster hit off a project.

He’s had a few movie projects get away from him or be stuck in development. The stuck in development hell Goners, an original script at Universal, and the Wonder Woman film that didn’t work out

His recent show,_ Dollhouse_, also got cancelled, making him a very available man.

He’s been kicked around by some bad luck in the last few years, and he needs to make a movie to make a big stamp.

This movie is his answer.

Personally (as if you couldn’t tell) I think he’s perfect for the job.

I'm a big fan of his stuff and I have been waiting for someone to give him a big budget superhero film, I just didn’t think it would be this big budgeted superhero film.

This will be the most ambitous project he has ever worked on, but I think he’s ready.

Good luck Joss, because it’s your job to make sure the Avengers assemble!

At The Movies With About Heroes West Coast! (Episode 24)

AT THE MOVIES, COMMANDO STYLE!!!!!

(Note: Chris H's Audio drops out for a solid chunk of the movie, but who wanted to listen to that guy anyway?)

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Coast About Heroes - Episode 24

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

The Losers Trailer Looks Awesome...

Hell yeah, the trailer for The Losers came out today, and it looks like an awesomely fun flick. Check it out.

I'magunnagoseeitwhenit'sout.

West Coast About Heroes Episode 21: Will Morgan Freeman Make Batsuits For Jesus When He Dies?

X-Men is getting a reboot. Ghost Rider's getting a reboot. Fantastic Four is getting a reboot. There's been talk of Daredevil getting a reboot. Now Spidey's getting the ol' re-boot! So today we're talking about ponies. Wait, no, we're talking about reboots! Like 'em? Don't like 'em? Take a listen? (A little siege-talk at the end as well)

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 21

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com. And as promised...Tobey is ugly.

Walking Out Of The Movies With WEST COAST ABOUT FAILURES, Episode 18

This is a weird one folks. We said we were going to watch Frank Miller's "The Spirit" and damn if we didn't try, but folks, that movie was too much awful for us. We ended up calling it about 36 minutes into the movie. As a consolation prize, we're throwing the next episode at you, that's 50% longer to make up for the shortness and awfulness of the movie podcast. So grab a copy of the movie and suffer with us, or just listen and laugh as we suffer by ourselves, either way, the second one is our summer movie followup and it's a legit podcast.

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 18

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

Kick-Ass Movie Review, Or: How I Became Infatuated With A 10 Year Old Girl / Fictional Character...

It was any other Wednesday. I was futzing around on the internet and minding my own business when my trusty gmail notification blip went off and I scurried to my Gmail tab to see what online pharmacy was launching penis pills at me today, but to my surprise, it was the screening exchange instead. Somehow, I was selected to receive a ticket to see a super-early screening of the film adaptation of Mark Millar's Kick-Ass. And at the ArcLight in Hollywood no less! Not only was this a movie that I really wanted to see, but it was at literally the nicest theater you could go to in the area. Hooray!

Fast Forward to the day of, I show up super early and there's already a huge line. After waiting in line for a little over an hour and a half I got in and sat down and waited some more. Once everyone was let in and seated and the VIP's had their seats, one of the editors (if memory serves it was Eddie Hamilton) got up and explained that none of the special effects were done yet and all the music was temporary. This kinda made me sad cuz i didn't want to get cheated out of seeing the whole movie and miss out on the finished experience, but I was still happy to be sitting there for free when I didn't have anything else to do. And after a lot more boring waiting (man, I really should have brought a book or something, they don't let you bring in your phones so I couldn't text / call anyone) the movie started.

Jesus. This movie completely lives up to it's name. It's wraps up insane levels of ridiculousness and realism into a really fun package that you can't help but enjoy. I was skeptical of this movie at first simply because of how Wanted turned out, but this movie is made completely in the spirit of the comics (which aren't even done yet, haha). Everything I was kind of concerned about (mostly Nicolas Cage) was totally awesome. I don't want to sound too eager when reviewing this movie, but I really didn't know what to expect from this movie and it was really good from where I was sitting. By the end of the movie the whole crowd, including myself, were cheering, whooping and hollering. That's really saying something.

The characters are all awesome. Dave, the main character, (played by Aaron Johnson) is just like he is in the comics. A completely sarcastic improbable realist (haha, I know that doesn't make sense on paper, but he's a realistic guy who walks around as a costumed avenger). You completely sympathize with him as he goes through life in New York being pushed around by thugs and ignored by the girl he loves. He's had enough and he's going to stand up and make an effort to change the world he lives in. His friends are also really well cast. There's the inconsequential third guy, and Marty (played by Clark Duke, who's basically a much less-often laid transplant of his character in Sex Drive). They really help set the backdrop for Dave as a main character, because they play the guys you most likely hung out with in High School. A couple nerdy guys like yourself who constantly mess with you and give you crap because they're your buddies and they're supposed to.

Then There's Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Jesus Christ, these two were awesome. Big Daddy is played by Nicolas Cage and Hit Girl is played by Chloe Moretz. Both are amazing. Nicolas Cage plays his ridiculous character so well. As a Dad he's lovingly psychotic and oddly old-fashioned in his acting style, but it completely works to show that while he and his daughter go out and kill bad guys, they do love each other and function as a family on some weird level. The funniest thing is seeing him operate as Big Daddy. He kicks ass like a combination of the Dark Knight Batman, The Punisher (MAX of course), and talks like Adam West Batman, which just drives the whole thing home in a giant ball of awesome. And then there's Hit Girl. It's ridiculous that this movie has driven me to devoutly love a 10 year old girl, but it totally has. She's the perfect combination of out-of-costume cute little girl and then complete ass-kicking force to be reckoned with when in costume. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see the movie (you should, by the way). One minute she's daddy's little girl and the next she's calling a room full of gang bangers 'cunts' and then slicing them all up with swords.

There are a lot of other great characters in the film that are fun to see in this crazy story, gangsters, gang-bangers, high school chicks, and Christopher Mintz-McLuvin as Red Mist. The movie's just chock full of funny scenes, Awesome fights, and amazingly ridiculous story. It's really funny to compare and contrast the insane over-the-top insane fight scense featuring Big Daddy and Hit Girl to Kick-Ass, who basically is just a regular guy with some sticks who's trying to make a difference. The movie definitely handles the whacky idea of kids dressing up and trying to be heroes well. Whenever something goes right, 2 things go wrong to keep you grounded. I can't imagine a way this story could have been handled better, to be honest.

Lastly, as mentioned before, I was told that the music was all temporary and stollen from other places and the effect shots weren't done. Well, the effect shots all looked 100% fine to me (aside from a 3D comic backstory explaining Big Daddy and Hit Girl's backstory) and the music was actually awesome, because it was from a bunch of other awesome movies. I"m sure they'll make a great score for this movie, but I wish you had the chance to see the movie with music from The Prodigy, The Dark Knight, Superman, Batman, The Fountain, and all the other movies it uses movies from. The whole story is set around people who read comics, love them, and want to bring some of that heroism into the real world, so having music from other movies works so well. It's like they couldn't think of anything better themselves except for the same source material they're drawing from anyway. And I love The Prodigy (seeing him have his first true hero moment defending a guy from 3 Gang-Members while everyone looks and doesn't help while hearing The Prodigy's 'Omen' was really awesome, it totally drove the chaos and adrenaline of the scene home).

So...if you haven't figured it out yet I'll boil it all down for you. This is a movie for nerds and non-nerds alike (although nerds might identify a liiiiiiiittle more with it). It's funny. It's violent as hell. It's awesome. I'll have get you excited and yelling for more. When it comes out, go see it. It's going to Kick-Ass.

(P.S. I'm aware of how stupid that last line was. STFU.)

At The Movies With About Heroes West Coast! (Episode 16)

In this episode, grab your barf bags and get ready to watch some gore, because the West Coast Crew are watching Peter Jackson's Zombie Epic, Dead Alive (or Brain Dead, depending on where you live)!!!! Pop in your copy and grab your lawn mowers, this one's gonna be messy...

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 16

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

Justin Quizon's '9' Review!

What did I tell you, kiddies? The bear-trap with Pocky worked like a charm! Justin Quizon's back, and this time, he's reviewing the new post-apocalyptic CG epic titled '9' for us!

Visually, this a stunning film.

The character designs, the directing, the action scenes, the world building....all of this is wonderful.

The voice acting is quite good too, thanks to it's strong voice cast.

The main problem with the film is the script.

Now, I find it confusing with some of the reaction I've heard with this movie, where it's a nearly violent hatred with the script because I didn't find the script inslutingly bad. Inslutingly bad scripts this year? Try out Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, G.I. Joe, Angels and Demons, X-Men Origins: Wolverine etc. THESE movies had scripts so bad that I wanted to scream at the screenwriters.

No, the problem with 9's script is that it's just, well, things just happen. There's really no build up in this flick.

The films done almost entirely with exposition, using elements from other sci-fi fantasty films we've already seen. With it's quick run time, the film didn't get to breath. The movie is set piece, after set piece after set piece.

The characters don't interact as much as we would like them too, but then I think they interact enough so that we at least get to know them (UNLIKE fucking Transformers 2)

But the movie doesn't bombared me with inslutingly bad jokes, any bad character logics (when something happens to one of the characters, the other characters REACT to what happened and feel for them realisticly) or WTF? sloppy screenwritting that left me scratching.

I will tell you this...if I was, hmmm, say 8-10 years old, and I saw this movie (be it in theater or on cable) trust me, THIS MOVIE WOULD HAVE BLOWN MY MIND.

It would have been a movie that me and my fellow movie nerd films would discuss 15 years later ("Dude, remember that freaky movie about the dolls fighting evil robots?" "You mean 9?" "YEAH! 9! I loved that movie when I was a kid!")

This is this generations The Dark Crystal, a visually amazing movie that older film fans will find the flaws, but a younger generation is going to see it and fall in love with.

And maybe thats were I want to be right now, a young kid who just wants to enjoy a movie.

Well there you have it kiddies! Our catch-and-release program with the little fella is working out quite nicely! Of course we had to let him go again because our word is our bond and he DID review the movie, but set your mind at ease. We will surely exploit his vices again soon in the future and you will read another (forced) review. This I am sure of. Until next time!

WCAH Episode #13: At The Movies; The Power Rangers Movie

In this episode, it's the return of "At the Movies With About Heroes!" The West Coast crew make a listener's dream come true at the cost of their sanity by watching the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Movie from 1995. Grab your copy or obtain a copy by some means (we won't tell) and jump in with us. IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!!

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 13

We have a twitter account! For more frequent comic-oriented updates, follow us: TWEET. Also, feel free to email us: aboutheroes 'AT' gmail.com.

Zombieland Review

One of our best and brightest, Justin Quizon, was fortunate enough to attend an advanced screening of the upcoming flick "Zombieland." After seeing it, myself and the rest of the Aboutheroes crew tied him up in our basement and worked him over with a blowtorch and a car battery until he agreed to write a review for the flick. This is that review:

(Writers note: This is a review for an early test screening cut of the film “Zombieland”. Some special effects were not done, scenes can be added or taken out before release and the score/music could be temporary.)

Walk into a movie with a title like “Zombieland”, you expect a certain kind of flick. A title like that you would hope the flick should be fun,have a tongue firmly in it's cheek sense of humor, and if they do this right, some scares (being that the movie has zombies and such.)

So, does this flick deliver on such promises with a title like that?

Oh you betcha.

The film set up is fairly simple (what with the help of a really stylish, cool opening credits sequences).

The world's fucked, and a zombie outbreak has destroyed everything. In order for you to survive you need to be smart, cautious, and be a bit of an off kilter person to survive it.

That's how the films narrator Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) has survived. He was already a neurotic shut-in before the zombie outbreak, and strangely being a neurotic shut-in has helped him survive. He has created a list of rules to survive “Zombieland” and with each new incident, he learns and adds to the list just so he can survive.

Soon he meets Tallahassee (Woody FUCKING Harrelson), a crazed badass who apparently having the time of his life in this apocalypse as he found himself to be an effective zombie killer. They team up, fights some more zombies in Tallahassee's strange personal quest (I'm going to let you see for yourself when you watch the flick to find out what that personal quest is.)

They then bump into Wichita (Emma Stone) and her little sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), a couple of con artist siblings. The quartet form this strange team as they travel on their road trip to California in hopes of going to a amusement park that apparently is “zombie-free”.

At first glance, the number one comparison to “Zombieland” would have to be “Shaun of the Dead”, but other then they're both zombie/comedies they don't have much in common.

What “Zombieland” DOES share with “Shaun of the Dead” is the rules on how to portray the zombies in the flick. Like “Shaun”, the zombies in “Zombieland” are treated very scary; they are not silly, goofy monsters. They are deadly predators and are never used in a humors manner. (Note: these are the FAST zombies that 28 days later... and the Dawn of the Dead remake popularized)

The humor thankfully belongs with the characters, and it's a fun cast with some genuine chemistry.( A pretty funny driving montage really showcases this during the middle of the flick) The fun thing is realizing that ALL of the characters actually seem better off in a land of the undead as we get quick flashbacks to their lives before, hell one of the flashbacks proves even more effective by making one of the characters deeper then they appear to be.

While Eisenberg, Stone and Breslin are pretty good in this, the real star is Woody Harrelson. His Tallahassee is just rules in this. The glee he shows killing zombies and his take no shit attitude are real highlight in this and it's just great to see Woody Harrelson have fun in this.

Also, there is a great, great, great cameo that I really hope that they don't even hint in future TV Spots/trailers, because it's so damn great and it's my favorite part of the whole movie.

Director Ruben Fleischer (who's only real credits before this was working on the Jimmy Kimmel Show and a documentary) really proves himself here as he showcases some fun inventive action scenes, a good eye for comedy and some really cool stylish ideas (the way how Columbus's rules pop up through out the film was a nice touch.)

My only real complaints is the inherent rushness the film has so far. In this cut of the flick the movie movies at a real brisk 80+ minutes, but I honestly feel 10 more minutes wouldn't hurt it to give it some more meat. Also there are some ideas that are not really fleshed out that I wish they discussed more. One idea was that each person renamed themselves as the city they came from, but for some reason the sisters Wichita and Little Rock are named two different cities kinda randomly (I know if they're from the same city they can't have the same name for the movie but why these cities in particular?) One of my favorites is the idea of the zombie kill of the week, but we only get one and it would have been awesome to have seen more.

Honestly, I think a lot of the these problems stems from the fact the movie was originally a TV pilot, and you can see how these things would have developed if this was still a weekly show. (Can you imagine how much fun it would have been to tune in each week see a different zombie kill of the week).

Even with these flaws, the movie is still a ton of fun. Personally, this might be my favorite guilty pleasure movie of the year, and I will wait in hopes to hear if they plan to do a "Zombieland" 2, because I think they just gotten started with what to do with this world.

-Justin Quizon

Well there you have it folks! He's a keeper, I tell you! Too bad we had to let him go after he wrote this, but don't worry, we have a plan involving Pocky and Bear Trap that surely will result in him writing another article for us soon! (INSERT EVIL, MANIACAL LAUGH HERE)

Hellboy 2 Review / Dark Knight PSA

Oh boy. Well the usual pattern with these movie reviews that are sequels is for me to lightly touch upon the first film and do a sort of mini-review and then move on to the main show, the sequel, which is Hellboy 2 in this case. Also, stay tuned after the review for a PSA you should probably read about the Dark Knight. No spoilers, I promise, I haven't seen it either. Ok, onward and upward kiddies! Hellboy 2!

So, the first Hellboy movie is a movie I enjoyed. I wouldn't say it was great by any measure, but it was enjoyable and had fun and interesting characters. I guess now is as good a time as any to mention that I really don't read any Hellboy comics or any of the related stuff like B.P.R.D. or Lobster Johnson, although I know that isn't REALLY too connected. That being said, we can just assume I'm writing this review from the point of a film reviewer, not a comic reviewer. So as a movie, the first Hellboy film wasn't great simply because there never really seemed to be that great of a momentum for the story and it's all resolved by Hellboy basically saying "Eh....no thanks." I'd rate it a C. Pretty to look at fun at times, but just full of holes. NOT plot holes, just incomplete and kind of disappointing.

Hellboy 2, which I just got home from watching no more than 20 minutes ago, is a different story. Guillermo Del Toro has showed that he's a competent director with work in the Orphanage and of course, Pan's Labyrinth. Something about Hellboy just makes him bad though, just like something about Marvel makes Jeph Loeb bad (at least generally speaking, I've heard good things about his character profile arcs, like the most recent Captain America: White). This movie, right from the get-go, is just awful. It's piss poor in just about every aspect other than crazy creature displays, and even that wasn't handled too well, but I'll get to that part later. The first scene opens up with an awful kid painted up as Hellboy in his early adolescent years being read a bed time story setting the backdrop for the Golden Army, and it's just terrible. Never have I wanted to punch a kid in the face so badly. Now that I think of it, it might be that English is a second language for GDT. Maybe he doesn't know what convincing English sounds like. I'd prefer that to the fact that he just let acting slip away to play second fiddle to a bunch of ooh-la-la and a story that just makes excuses to display nutty creatures inspired by Mignola's comic.

The acting in this film is lackluster at best, and spearheading this campaign of mind shattering-suckery is Selma Blair as Liz Sherman, Pryo-lady. She wasn't the only one though, it was a tight race and she really had to work for it to beat out some of her competition. Just like in the first movie, romantic scenes between Blair and Perlman (Hellboy) are just painfully awkward, and in the big romance scene of the movie, Perlman is literally unconscious, so he can't be blamed. I can't really remember ever seeing Selma Blair truly act well, but I know she's more capable than what I saw tonight. But enough about her. Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Jeffrey Tambor (Tom Manning) and Luke Goss (Prince Nuada) all weigh in and come up short as actors. Now, it shouldn't go without saying that a bad script had at least a hand in this, but there were many times throughout the movie where I was literally cringing in pain at what I was being exposed to at the expense of my hard earned dollars. Perlman comes across too awkwardly in the titular roll, seeming like an awkward cosplayer at a convention feeling just a bit too silly to really get into character. Tambor is just dealt with poorly as a character, too his credit, although I've still seen him be much better. And Goss. Sweet awesome badass Goss. Why couldn't you have channeled whatever GDT struck up in you in Blade 2 and just played a good Villain? The only character I enjoyed pretty whole-heartedly was Johann Kraus, and that's because he was basically a mime with somebody else talking for him. I enjoyed this character a lot despite a silly fight with Hellboy until the very end of the movie, where they take him as a character, open up his containment suit, and start to poop in it (Bad writing again).

This screenplay is a super duper swiss cheese extravaganza with a built in oil drilling rig just in case there weren't enough holes when you walked in the door. This thing has more plot holes and underused themes there were hairs on Chewbacca. There's a whole conflict of humans not truly accepting Hellboy despite him protecting them and whether he should fight for them or the nutty creatures that he's helping essentially rid the world of. A fine plot-line to be sure. To bad it's only really briefly touched upon here and there in the movie and then just kinda of splurged away at the end of the movie leaving you a tad flat. The biggest piece of sillyness in the film was the awkwardly crammed in love story between Princess Nuala and Abe Sapien, who after just meeting Abe, falls in love with him, and prompts him to do the same, only it didn't stop there. They use Abe's crush (and trust me when I say it's an awkward one) to strum up a drunken kareoke-esque scene with Abe and Hellboy crooning out the musical equivalent of Air Supply, which is funny for a few lines, but quickly takes a turn to being inappropriate and out of place, joining the ranks of Super Dance-off Mr. Fantastic from Fantastic Four 2 and Emo-Bluesdaddy Parker from Spider-Man 3. And the titular Villain, the Golden Army, is dealt with in the same manner as the first movie, with Hellboy basically just speaking up and saying "Nooooo, stop that." Granted, this movie did flex much more impressive fight scenes (the Golden Army scene is very pretty, I'll give them that, and Johann Straus more than makes up for his locker-room exploits earlier in the film here). Still, the resolution of everything still feels a bit anti-climactic and the meat of the sandwich of a film is very stringy and undercooked.

The one thing this movie did with flying colors was bring out the freaks. There isn't a character in this movie that doesn't look awesome, whether it be Wink, the Wrecking Ball-Fisted Brute, The Angel of Death, or a giant CGI Rock-Door guy, they are look great. And that's a good thing, except for the fact that when you want to have one of the main plot points of the movie be how Hellboy interacts with the human race, you're gonna want to show some interaction with humans. The most we get is just a crowd essentially yelling "BOO! YOU'RE WEIRD! BOOGAH BOOGAH BOOGAH!!!!" Nice job guys, you've alienated and destroyed the best subplot you had going for you and essentially alienated your audience, since we all love Hellboy. We, as humans, are painted as uncaring and un-understanding, but with no reason whatsoever, much like Spidey is in the comics just after beating a deadly supervillain. It's frustrating enough to make me want to rip my horns...er....hair out.

All in all this movie was just a bust. I recommend you save yourself the price of admission and just rent it on netflix when it comes out. Just be sure that when you do, you put it on mute and just turn on a good action-oriented album and let the awesomely designed characters run around in your noggin for a bit. I give it a D.

DARK KNIGHT PSA

Ok kiddies, gather 'round and listen up. I know you're probably excited for next weekend when the Dark Knight opens up next weekend. You can bet that I and probably a few other writers here at AboutHeroes are going to toss up a review for it, but I beg you. Please, learn from the past and calibrate yourselves. I see so many people walking around talking about how this movie is going to be awesome AND I'M NOT SAYING IT ISN'T. Just take it down a notch, ok? Let's all make sure we don't psyche ourselves out for this. Just relax. When you go to the theaters with all your buddies, have a good time, but be calm. Don't let what happened to me in Spider-Man 3 happen to you. Make sure you go in just hoping for an enjoyable, entertaining movie. Don't expect the best comic book movie ever because as good as it'll probably be, it might not be that. Look, all I'm saying is don't ruin it for yourself. Just do yourself a favor and forget the hype. Just go see a Batman flick and hope it's on par with the first. Ok? Good talk, now get out there and give 'em hell, and come back next weekend for the Dark Knight Review ala Joshiebear!

The Incredible Hulk Movie Review

So here it is. The Jade Giant returns to theaters in a reboot only 5 years after the previous film, and this time they seemed to have cued into what the Hulk is really about. Smashing stuff. What I felt were the major flaws of the last film were that the Hulk only ever really fought 3 mutant dogs (one of them being a freaking poodle...), and Nick Nolte as the Absorbing Man, who wasn't anything other than somewhat of a glorified Parasite. That's awful. I understood that what the Ang Lee was trying to really display the conflicted character of Bruce Banner / the Hulk by focusing on his child abuse and anger issues, but that's only one side of the coin that is the Hulk. The other side, which is the shinier, more brain-dead and broadly appealing side is the fact that he's A GIANT EXTREMELY STRONG BALL OF PUNY noun SMASHING RAGE. Neglecting that is a stupid mistake. Louis Leterrier (who showed up at the beginning of the showing my friend and I attended in person to thank us for going on opening night, :-D) definitely didn't make this mistake. The Hulk smashes in this movie. He does it big and he does it a lot. Every act of this movie has at least one Hulk action sequence that's amazing for just turning your brain off and watching. And at the end, HE FIGHTS A GUY WHO CAN TAKE HIM ON. Congratulations Mr. Leterrier. You've figured out what makes an entertaining Hulk Movie.

Now make no mistake, this is no Iron Man. Not saying it isn't good, but it just isn't great. I was worried about this movie kinda doing what happened when Disney pulled the theme-park ride-movie summer, when they came out with Pirates of the Caribbean and then a few months later they came out with the Haunted Mansion, leading with the superior movie and then using that as a hook to get people into the other, weaker movie. This isn't the case with the Hulk. It does a good job of standing on it's own and being a fun movie. It's a Blockbuster. It's pretty to look at and has some cool action sequences in it. The acting is decent. I'd actually wish I could say better since Edward Norton (Banner) is one of my favorite actors, but this movie just wasn't the kind of movie that showcases acting skills. It's just all about the explosions and the projectile forklifts.

The movie is faithful to the old tv show more than it is the comic, but not in a way that necessarily detracts from the comic-core. The flashback sequence that shows the Hulk's origin is pretty much a shot for shot recreation of the intro to the tv show, which is fun. Also, David Banner is an alias Bruce uses at one point in the movie. The "Lonely Man" theme even pops up. These are just a few call-backs to the show, but the best one is the playful riff on the "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" line, but I won't spoil it for you.

Man, this review is scattershot, let me try to reel it in: This movie is what a hulk movie should be. It's big, it's bombastic, it's got a lot of the Hulk tearing things up and fighting things that are actually able to go toe-to-toe against him. The acting is good, the special effects are great, it's faithful to it's origins and is worthy of a Hulk fan's approval. They even drop the seeds for The Leader! The only thing I had a huge problem with was the end to the Hulk / Abomination fight at the climax of the movie. It isn't bad, but it could have been a whole lot better. But it is good. And it will tide any comic geek over until the main course of the summer when the Dark Knight opens up. I give this movie a solid B, but I have to say it's on the "Fun to Watch" scale, not the "All around fantastic movie" scale, like you'd find a movie like Fight Club on.

Alien Vs Predator: Requiem Review

Hey Kiddies! It's me! Joshiebear! Ok I'm back. I've finally graduated and thus will (hopefully) have more free time to post stuff for your reading pleasure. Today, as you might have guessed from the title, I'm going to review the sequel to the crap-tastic silver screen grudge match known as Alien Vs Predator. Is Requiem better? Worse? As good? Read on!

Since I was a little booger eater I read the dark horse comics featuring these two deadly species scrapping through the universe and jacking up whatever humans got in their way. I loved all the movies when I was a kid, and crapped my pants when I saw the Alien skull on the predator ship in Predator 2. That's why I was there opening day when Aliens Vs Predator came out in theaters a few years back, despite the PG13 rating. I had faith. Oy.

My heart was broken. The movie was so tame and the predators, for the most part, sucked, getting their noob-ish space-asses handed to them left and right, which is very un-predator-esque. When they said they were doing a sequel, I reserved my judgement, and last night, I went out to see it. Before I get into this movie, let me tell you what was wrong with the first movie, in case you haven't seen it. In a movie called BLANK vs BLANK, your really want to see those two blanks fighting a considerable amount, and that just didn't happen. It was more like BLANK kills BLANK without incident repeatedly. That and it was really central on the humans, not really showing too much of the perspective of the Predator, who I believe is a viable protagonist in the story. And it was PG13. Every single Alien and Predator movie is rated R. All of them. When you put them together, you'd expect that the blood and gore Fit would REALLY hit the Shan, but alas, it was all very hum drum.

BUT ENOUGH about the movie that isn't the movie I'm reviewing. Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem is a vast improvement on it's predecessor. It is not flawless, but at least it holds true to the title. There are Aliens. There is a Predator. They do 'Vs', lol. Here's the setup. It picks up right where it left off at the last movie. The Predators are leaving the Alaskan facility when the 'Predalien' pops out of Red Claw, or whatever the main Predator's name was, and starts jacking things up on the Predator's ship, effectively taking out all Predators and causing the ship to crash land in a remote town in Colorado in the woods. Before you can say 'Chestburster' 2 facehuggers find their way onto the faces of a father-son hunting team. Meanwhile, far away on the Predator homeworld, the distress signal of the ship is received by what we can only presume is the Predator version of a badass, because he immediately hops onto his ship and leaves all on his own. Don't worry, I haven't spoiled anything, this is all in the first five minutes of the movie. What follows is one Predator taking on a ton of Aliens and indeed, the Predalien, who acts as sort of a mini-queen in this flick, while the town is effectively gang-raped by all the Alien hulabaloo, which is pretty fun to watch.

The Brothers Strause did a pretty good job at pulling this franchise out of the muck it's been in and returning it to the realm it should be in with what they were given. No more CG aliens, no more quick cuts disguising dismemberment. It's all back to it's roots, thank God. It's monsters just getting all up into the guts of your innermost squeemish fears. They even have some great callbacks to older movies with lines like "Get to the Chopper!" which made me squeel like an Alien you might hear over a com-link while in the midst of a firefight. There is a pesky story, but it doesn't really get in the way of the action. It's just some people drama in the form of bully picking on nice but troubled kid, but that just sets it up nicely for the moment you know the bully is going to be on the receiving end of a secondary retractable jaw.

It's not exactly where an Alien Vs Predator movie should be in my own opinion, because I've always been a fan of the whole "Future Space" setting with the Space Marines and Power Loaders, but it's good for sweeping the last movie under the rug and moving onward. I really hope that someday they make another movie and do it in the future, but just like this one, just add some space marines into the mix. All in all I'd give this movie a B. It's no cinematic masterpiece, it's just a grudge-match that delivers on the VS.