Silent War # 1 Review

Author: David Hine
Art: Frazer Irving
Letters: Joe Caramanga

I'll be the first to tell you that I have not enjoy a single thing that David Hine has written. Granted, I've only read all his Marvel works, never really tried out his Spawn. But, if his Marvel work really gave me a glimpse of what his Spawn work is like, than no thank you.

This series is a follow up to last year's Son of M, which was a follow up to House of M. Quicksilver stole the Terrigan Crystals to get his powers back and now the Inhumans want their crystals back. Gorgon and three other Inhumans take over a theater and kill the audience. Keep in mind all this happens pre-Civil War so the Fantastic Four show up and fight the Inhumans. The best part of the issue is Medusa telling Black Bolt never to snap his fingers at her again.....damn Bolt, now we know who wears the pants in that relationship. The strong point in this series is going to be the political aspect and if you've read my reviews or heard our podcast you know how I feel about that. Politics and comics should never be in the same sentence. It's why I read comics to escape from reality.

I'm not down with the art, there are some good panels, but for the most part is really dark and too computer animated for me. I don't know there just seems to be alot of cut and paste in this art, reminds me of something I would find in a Heavy Metal magazine. A war between nations has started and human scientist have some Inhumans they can experiment on! Not a winning combination for this reader. I’ll read the trade for the sake of seeing what happens to some of the moon’s inhabitants, but I’m not looking forward to reading it issue by issue. C-

Wolverine # 50 Review

Author:Jeph Loeb
Pencilers: Simone Biachi and Ed McGuinness
Inkers: Simone Bianchi, Andrea Silvestri, and Dexter Vines
Colors: Paul Mounts and Dave McCaig

Every time a new writer wants to explore the relationship between Sabretooth and Wolverine, it's always the same thing. Is he Wolvie's brother, father, sister, or molesting uncle? Jeph Loeb wants to be the first to set the record straight! Well, he is about 15 years too late. Larry Hama already cleared up the fact that Wolverine and Sabretooth have no relation whatsoever. So what's there to say about this issue then?

Well if you've read issue 95 of the original Wolverine run, you've pretty much read this exact same issue. Wolverine wants to fight with Sabretooth so he goes in the mansion and they duke it out. At the end Wolverine pops his claws and it continues. Nice cliffhanger, so Wolverine is to become Sabretooth? What does this exactly mean...I hope they don't go where they shouldn't but after all this is Marvel. There was a nice flashback of Logan's birthday and the death of Silver Fox, fantastic Jeph Loeb actually did some research....holy fuck, someone else who likes to read backissues. The back up story was a worthless retelling of Hulk 181 in a dream phase, but it did have a nice little slap in the face to remind us that there was a title called Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk out there that hasn't wrapped up.

The art is really stunning, because this is mainly one long ass fight with some flashbacks of Lupine (wolf creatures). It is very dark and gritty and they keep the fight interesting from page to page, which is hard to do if half the book is made up of a brawl. McGuinness' art is an extreme opposite to contrast the first story, it's very light and cartoony. It really amazes me how much this guy has not improved over the years, he still has the exact same art style from Wolverine Annual 1996, but hey his anime/pop art style really seem to hook people, so to each their own. On a side note I did enjoy the homage to the old color printing method used for the backup story.

The story while not unique is still entertaining enough, sure the dialogue is stereotypical Wolverine and Sabretooth, but hell the way some books are being written nowadays, I ain't complaining. Just don't understand why there had to be a backup story, wish there was more of the first story. B-

Flash: The Fastest Man Alive # 8 Review

Authors: Danny Bilson and Paul Demeo
Pencilers: Ron Adrian and Art Thibert
Inker: Art Thibert
Cover: Daniel Acuna

It's been a long time since I've reviewed Flash and since I've enjoyed reading them. I think I have finally put together the formula that isn't working in this book, at least for me. It's not the art, because I really like the artists that have been in this book from Lashley to Adrian. I have a problem with the writing and a few other things.

Inertia has Val in his hands and gives Bart the choice of saving her and being zapped by a laser? What the fuck I haven't read corny stories like this since the silver age...and hell at least those were fun to read. He chases Mota around for a few pages and finally captures him with a big fucking magnet! The good parts that did happen in this book were very minimal, Bart applies at a police academy to become a forensic scientist (following not only in Uncle Barry's footsteps, but Wally's as well, since he was a mechanic at a police station.) Inertia also seems to be gathering four villains for some future issue.

This issue is another big let down, the big fight with Inertia that has been setting up for a long time, was nothing more than just a bitchfest. No plans of Inertia trying to tap into the speedforce at all. There is a horribly rushed relationship with Val, which just is a poor man's Wally and Linda. Bart again doesn't act like the Bart we all fell in love with in Impulse and Young Justice. I don't give a damn if he is older, you still keep some of your traits that you had as a teenager (not sure if that's fair to call him that since his aging is weird to begin with.) There is still no mention of Wally or Linda or the twins. Then there is that horrible dialogue. What the fuck....it's pretty sad when I don't feel shit for the characters that I've loved in the past.

The art is up and down and feels a bit rushed, but thanks to Thibert most of it is cleaned up. The main problem is I have a hard time believing these characters are moving that fast. It seems that Adrian has a problem with the fluidity of the character. This series is just everywhere one minute Bart is afraid of the Speed Force the next he doesn't even think about it. I am in no way interested in this character that happens to be named Bart Allen, so hopefully Guggenheim will fix some of this shit that has been nothing more than a cluster fuck of bad characterization and horrible story ideas.D

Civil War: The Return Review

Author: Paul Jenkins
Pencils: Tom Raney
Inker: Scott Hanna
Colors: Gina Going

It was a miniscule anomaly--a crease in a seam of the fabric of time and space

I remember when Captain Marvel died, I had just started really getting into comics outside of just X-men and I saw this oversized graphic novel. The title didn't really catch my eyes as much as the pictures did. The Death of Captain Marvel was one of the most touching stories I have ever read....period. Not just comics; stories. Hell even Superman can be found in the book mourning for Captain Marvel.

Captain Marvel is back by pure luck; it seems that this is a Captain Marvel that was pulled from his own time before he died of cancer. The anomaly mentioned earlier was caused by the Registration opening up Negative Zone portals, I guess that's what you get for Fucking meditating in the Negative Zone Mar-vell! Tony and Reed ask him to stay in the Negative zone and not much else happens because it is split into two stories. The second story is just as bad as the first. After obliterating the Absorbing Man the Sentry decides to registers at a police fucking station!!! What happened? Reed and Iron Man too far away for him to reach?

The writing is not really bad, but it just lacking the more personal feelings that Jenkins usually puts in his books....sometimes a little too much like Frontline. But damn, does this story feel forced. Someone was feeding Jenkins this bullshit story and he tried to his best with that shitty plot outline. They expect me to follow the adventures of a new whiny ass Captain Marvel in his own book? Does that mean that as long as his book keeps selling he will stay alive? Well sign my ass up!....yeah sarcasm again...last time I promise.

Tom Raney's art is typical as always, some characters look amazing other times the same character looks too bulky or too skinny. It is good enough and he's got Captain Marvel down...I doubt he can keep up with a monthly book so I don't expect him to be drawing the ongoing. Scott Hanna is one of the last few damn inkers left in the business that adds his own touch of clean look to the book. Scott you are the man and the best thing about this book. This story is a complete waste of paper that might be kind of fun to wipe my ass with. I think they need a Return policy with The Return! D-

Ultimate X-men # 78 Review

This review was submitted by Spider-Ben

Writer: Robert Kirkman
Artist: Ben Oliver

OK, I admit I have enjoyed most of Kirkman’s work on Ultimate X-Men thus far. I thought “Date Night” was perfect, “Phoenix?” was very fun and intense (despite lackluster art), “Magical” really threw me for a loop with the revelation that Magician faked his parents death and turned on the team, and even the second annual was a shock with Nightcrawler going crazy. But this current arc, “Cable” has really been a let down.

First off, Cable being a future Wolverine is crazy and doesn’t make much sense. Ultimate Bishop was not interesting at all, and I think there have been way too many “Xaiver must die for what he has done” storylines in the past. (See: Age of Apocalypse, “One Man’s Worth” Animated series 2 parter, etc.) Now we learn that Xaiver is really in love with Jean after all this time (despite him and Lilandra getting close in a few storylines ago) and Scott gets all sucidal in his battle plans and methods in this issue. Sure, I know he wants to save Jean, but after Xaiver’s confession he just doesn’t act like himself.

The issue suffers All Star Batman and Robin Syndrome: not much happened in this issue. Cyclops and Xaiver arrive, they fight Ultimate Domino and her teammates, Xaiver says this is his fault, Cable blows Xaiver up, Jean rushes to grieve over Xaiver’s skeleton (with no signs of flesh or blood or clothing at all, just a perfectly clean skeleton!) and Wolverine is still not telling his friends that he will become Ultimate Cable. That’s about it, just one big fight and a lame death. Look, I like Kirkman. I love Marvel Zombies, I liked the first 14 issues of Marvel Team Up, hell, I even liked the Masters of the Universe Icons of Evil one shots he wrote. But Ultimate X-men seems to be going downhill. Plus, you can’t expect fans to actually believe Xaiver died. He probably was teleported away with Ultimate Cable, leading in some huge return or revelation as issue 100 approaches. I just don’t believe this death one bit whatsoever.

Another thing that hurts is the art. Good God people, get a regular artist for this book! What happened to Tom Raney? Why do we have Ben Oliver, and some dude called Yvette something doing the next two issues. My friends can draw, there styles are all great and they would actually produce the book on time! I’ve seen their work, and any of them would help this book come back on top. I’m not dropping the book, but I really hope it gets better. I have to give this issue a C. Yes, I gave a book a low grade. It just really let me down. Excuse me, I’m going to read Ultimate Spidey 104 again and get the bad taste of this issue out of my mind.

Ultimate Spider-man # 104

This review was submitted by Spider-Ben

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Mark Bagley
Covers: Mark Bagley and Richard Isanove

Good God, this comic book was one of the finest stories I have read in the past year! Sure, Civil War is getting all the hype, but Bendis and Bagley deserve much more recognition for their outstanding work. The clone saga ends, and Peter has to confront the man responsible for all this clone madness, Doc Ock!

Peter and Jessica finally come face to face with Ock, and realize they have to defeat him despite his new abilities to control metal. I guess Magneto and Otto used to be friends or something, but seeing his new set of metal arms was pretty sweet. Meanwhile, the Fantastic Four are working hard to help MJ deal with the OZ inside her body. With the help of Dr. Storm, Reed is able to find a way to counteract the OZ. MJ wakes up and freaks out, and turns back into the sasquatch goblin creature. Meanwhile, Peter and Jessica finally beat the crap out of Ock, and learn that two more of the clones have died in the recent madness. Peter gives Ock to Nick Fury, and Fury tells Gyrich to piss off for authorizing this madness in the first place. Jessica runs away, refusing to surrender to Fury. I loved the part when Jessica and Peter were arguing, and Jessica states “I don’t have time to waste arguing with myself!” Bendis finds a way to put humor in a rather dark story, and that is another reason why I love him.

OK, now to the part of the book that made me so happy I teared up. Johnny takes Peter to the Baxter Building, and he finds MJ freaking out. When she turns into the sasquatch, she watches Peter and turns back into human form. Peter races to her, and calms her down. Dr. Storm and Reed deliver the antidote, and MJ is OK. She wants to know what is happening, and Peter tries to explain all this craziness. But finally, Peter is so happy that MJ is OK that he tears up and hugs her, stating how he loves her. He made a mistake but he loves her, and always has. Bagley absolutely freaking nails the next panel, as MJ’s expression is just top notch. After all the shit they have been through, MJ realizes that Peter is totally sincere and the two embrace. Good God was that amazing. I’ve always wanted Peter to be with MJ. With the regular Marvel U about to destroy Spidey’s marriage (Thanks JMS and Quesada, that is such a great idea. Idiots, but I won’t go into that right now.) OK, so Peter and MJ are together and in love and it just total rocks!

The writing and art is perfect, and like I said I got all teary eyed. It’s just perfect. The story ends with Reed announcing he can isolate the OZ in Peter’s body, and revert him to a normal teenager again. Peter must make a crucial choice in what to do. But it doesn’t matter cause PETER AND MJ ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! Thank you Bendis and Bagley!! Thank you so fucking much, I love you guys.

Thoughts/Comments:
I think I pretty much expressed my feelings for the issue in the entire summary. The book is perfect. I laughed, I cried, and I re-read the issue 3 times in one setting! Oh, I forgot that Peter’s dad (who is a clone of Peter who was aged) had a pretty lame death. Sue told him he was a clone, he freaked out and aged rapidly. Then died. That was kind of weak, but the rest of the issue rocked! To bad that I only have 6 more issues of Bagley before the wretched evil that is Stuart Immonen takes over. I tell you, if Bendis wasn’t still writing the title I’d drop it in a minute. But I love Bendis and MJ and Peter are together again! This book gets a total A+! I need to sit down and re-read the entire ultimate clone saga now, it’s that damn good.

Wolverine Origins # 10 Review

Author: Daniel Way
Penciler: Steve Dillon
Cover: Joe Quesada

It's been a long time since I've reviewed my favorite book to pick on. But how do I review a book that took me 9 minutes to read three times? Why the hell did I read it three times? Right, just to make sure I didn't miss anything. So here we go, this one is quick, I promise.

While I know some reviewers think that Wolverine Origins is getting better, I still don't see it. Am I missing something or is this the exact same piece of shit book I have been reading for 10 issues? Seriously, what the fuck is Way doing with these characters? We have Jubilee dying, "Dum Dum" Dugan dead, and Wolverine's son has a fucking Mohawk! Where is all the mystery and revelation of Wolverine's past we were promised? I have no idea what this story was even about or where it's going, but I do know that my 3 bucks would rather be spent on a value meal a Mc Donalds or a cheap ass haircut at one of those hair schools, or a blowjob from a crack whore, or yes a better comic. This book is still garbage. Dillon what are you doing in this book man? Nice variant cover by Quesada! D-

Thunderbolts # 110 Review

Author: Warren Ellis
Artist: Mike Deodato Jr.
Colors: Rain Bareo

Goodbye Fabe and Tom; Hello Warren and Mike! This is really should be called the New New Thunderbolts. I really read this with hesitation, because I have seen this formula many times with Marvel. Hey let's take Ellis and put him on a perfectly good book. But hey, I'm not in charge of marketing at Marvel and those guys seem to know what they are doing. After all look how successful Their Fight Club Thunderbolts were.

The team now is made up of Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Moonstone, Green Goblin, Venom, Bullseye, and ohh shit....suckass Penance (no not the Generation X character, the suckass one). The focus of the book is still the same formula with a different take. The ex-villains are not attempting to redeem themselves by acting like superheroes; villains now are being forced to go on missions against their wills. With Norman Osborn now running the team, their assignments are to track down and apprehend unregistered superpowered characters....such as Jack Flag (an old Captain America sidekick).

I read this book three times; the first time I just did not like it, because so many of its ideas. Come on How in the hell am I to believe that the public accepts Norman Osborn (an A list villain) and rejects heroes like Captain America? I mean what the fuck?! Where is the credibility in that? Granted it all takes place after Civil War, but come on! Surely the average working Joe in the Marvel U has a better judge of character than that. Anyway...the second time I read it. I threw all that away and just tried to enjoy it as a new story and it was pretty good. The third time I read it, I came to the conclusion this was Suicide Squad and I really really enjoyed the book. There is a very realistic tone to this story that will keep me coming back for more.

I really did enjoy the book, more than I thought I was going to; considering I loved what Nicieza and Grummett were doing with the title. Deodato's art really flatters Ellis' script, particularly the interrogation scenes with Bullseye and Songbird. It also helps that he is inking his own pencils. I'm giving Ellis and Deodato the benefit of the doubt here and sticking with the title. As long as we see as much of Penance as we did in this issue. Thunderbirds are a go! Err I meant Thunderbolts! A

What If? Age of Apocalypse # 1 Review

Author: Rick Remender
Artist: Dave Wilkins
Colors: Anthony Washington
Cover: Marko Djurbievic

Probably the last good story to come out of the 90's X-men titles were the Age of Apocalypse books. OF course that's saying a lot from me, because it was the collaboration of both Scott Lobdell and Bob Harras, not necessarily two of my favorite creators. I had high hopes for the four issue mini and the one-shot that came out in 2005 and of course most of us that read it know how that turned out. This issue although better, still lacks something from the formula to make a good What If book.

Remender uses the absence of both Xavier and Magneto in this story as the big twist. We get some new faces (like the new Dr. Strange) and some old AoA like X-man and Nemesis or Holocaust or whatever eeeevil name he went by before he bit the dust. To be honest I think Remender just had fun with alternate versions of characters, because there is an overabundance found for a single issue. There was no space to get some character development from these new/old faces.

I really don't know what to think about the art. It's really sketchy at times and some of the character's bodies look completely awkward. Not sure if it's an art style or if Wilkins is trying to develop something dark to fit the mood of the story. Either way it's not bad, but it's far from great.

The colors really help portray how dark this world really is and it helps the art really shine during battle scenes. I really am starting to miss the What If issues of old, with original stories instead of rehash material. Unless you are an X-men completist or can't find anything else interesting to read, I would just walk pass this one. Or wait for it in trade where you don't have to be interrupted by a cum-wad of ads all over the place! D+

Manhunter # 27 Review

Author: Marc Andreyko
Penciler: Javier Pina
Inker: Robin Riggs
Cover: Howard Chaykin

If you had told me six months ago that I would not only be reading, but highly enjoying a Manhunter book not staring Paul Kirk or Mark Shaw; I would have told you: You are out of your fucking mind! Why would I ever pick up a chick Manhunter book. Luckily for me, I decided to check out what all the talk about Kate Spencer was. Really, I wanted to know why a book that had been saved time and time again from cancellation had that other unfortunate titles didn't. All I have to say is : Damn! I was hooked from issue 5.

Unleashed Part 2 continues and as the cover reveals, it has one of the best cliffhanger endings in my opinion. Although not as pretty as the Arthur Adams Wonder Woman vs. Manhunter cover from last issue, this issue had something to say. Oh yeah, Howard Chaykin drawing Blue fucking Beetle!

Cameron Chase is still planning to rescue her sister from Dr. Trap (no seriously, that's this cat's name). Mark Shaw (hellz yeah, 80's Manhunter) discovers a hidden city in the Himalayas that seems to be occupied by members of the Knights of the Order of Saint Dumas. Hopefully he'll run into Jean Paul there and bring back Azrael. There is another interlude with Checkmate; specifically the Black Queen and Sasha Bordeaux, who heads off to LA. In the meantime Kate is defending Wonder Woman from the Grand Jury that is trying to indict her for the murder of Maxwell Lord As they go and get ready to greet the press the clouds part way for a blue shuttle. By this point I was geeking out of course. The last page is a full page of Ted Cord telling Diana he came to help.

Even though I know better than to believe that this is actually Ted Cord; I am still anxiously awaiting the next issue. The overall story is pretty damn good and the pacing is great. Wonder Woman seems to be handled so much better than her own monthly (cough cough) counterpart that is written by Heinberg. Hell, she is supposed to be acting human and Andreyko shows that humility in some great scenes. The art, although not my cup of tea, is good enough and flows well. This was a great in betweener, almost as good as lettuce! So here is to another year of Manhunter books and to my boy Blue Beetle! B+

Civil War Frontline # 10 Review

Author: Paul Jenkins
Pencilers: Ramon Bachs and Steve Lieber
Inker: John Lucas
Colors: Laura Martin

Why not start out the New Year with some reviews? Hell it's been a while since I've done any, between work and the holidays...but who cares those are just excuses. Even though we talked about this issue on the podcast I don't think I really got to express how much this issue really bothered my innards.

Like all the previous Frontline issues, this issue has a couple of stories in it. The first is a story about Sally and Ben finding out from different sources some pretty damn good information. Ben has to quit his job because he feels like the Daily Bugle will never print his story. Sally and Ben then share what they have both learned, but leave the reader out of the loop. To be fair this part of the issue was pretty damn good, it had me thinking what they could possibly know, surely it can't be that obvious. Bachs art really goes well with this story, he is very clear with what he is trying to show. Reminds me of a young David Finch, when he was working on Ascension.

On to the second story; Speedball confronts the father that shot him in jail. Robbie makes a statement that he will sign the Registration Act if they agree to let the father go free. There is some bitching because all the father has left is hate. But this is the new bad-ass emo Robbie. He don't give a fuck! Speedball burns his costume and the Marvel tailor (yeah everyone has one) brings him a new costume. Each spike on the inside is to remind him for each death he blames himself for. Speedball is dead! Long live............PENANCE!!!!!!! Great message Marvel! All the great fun loving superheroes have to be tortured and become guilt driven heroes, because that's what the fans really want. And who knows, they could be right! Maybe I am getting too old and too attached to these characters. But, the light hearted days of heroes in the Marvel Universe are quickly disappearing and the fucking Ultimate universe has become the new light hearted place to go. I don't know who's idea it was to make Robbie the fifth horseman of Apocalypse, but him and all the poorly written/ mistreated characters should go and join forces and start a comic.....oh wait. THATS ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENING!!!! I wonder if Gambit will join that team of Thunderbolts or the Wolverine from Wolverine Origins. Damn, I miss me some Fabian and some New Warriors, I think I will go drown my sorrows now with some beer and some back issues of NWs. I'd give this book a C- , not all of it was bad, but the Speedball fanboy in me really wanted to give it a lower grade.